Friday, January 29, 2016

Brain Scans and the Antisocial Spectrum

Does autism alter the white matter of the brain? http://dailym.ai/1WRA8T5 via http://dailym.ai/android

Does autism alter the brain, or is an altered brain the cause of autism?
Autism is a social disorder and falls within the spectrum of antisocial personality disorder.
Brain scans performed on inmates in the penal system have indicated differences in the frontal lobes of men diagnosed with antisocial personalities, as opposed to those who were not diagnosed with the disorder.
In an attempt to understand APD, should we not scan the brains of all people who fall within in the spectrum? Perhaps APD is, on some level, organic; treatment indicating medication, as cognitive behavioral therapy seems to have failed miserably up until now, may be the answer.
Aledgedly, one quarter of the the human population suffers from sociopathy; doesn't it behoove the medical community to investigate this option?
Studies indicate that behavioral therapy fails because sociopaths apparently utilize their tools and behavior to fool the therapist into believing they are completely fine in regards to personality, and in many cases these people never seek treatment in the first place.
I am excited to see research making strides in regards to autism, and I hope that  because of the brain changes, that autism might be treated medicinally, however, I would really like to see everyone on the antisocial spectrum receive the same advocacy. It seems that presently, sociopathy is one, highly misunderstood, and two, stigmatized in popular culture. These people are our children, our spouses, our friends. If sociopathy can be treated with medication that influences the frontal lobe, we might actually make major strides, perhaps, in the treatment of everyone on the spectrum.

-Deannalynn Arzola

Sunday, January 17, 2016

A few things happened over the new year. My birthday follows the new year by one week. This year, I turned 50. 
When I turned twenty, I became pregnant with my only child. In my twentys, I fell in love for the first time. In my twentys, I married my husband. I was waiting for the right man to be my daughter's father, antithetical to my father, who remarried the stepmonster so he could have a wife, not so I could have a mother, which he actually told me. 
In my thirtys, I was a wife. We had a lovely little family. We had a few homes, several dogs, we took in my daughter's boyfriend when his mother hit the skids. We really had a nice, domestic life.
On my forty-first birthday, my husband cheated on me. In my fortys, I learned how to live my life in basic solitude. I wasn't a wife, I wasn't a mom, I wasn't a daughter. My daughter was having her own babies, my husband was basically screwing a baby, and I had not spoken to my ex-father in ten years. In my fortys, I began to search for myself, my authentic self, who I really am when I'm not busy being someone else's something. In my fortys, I met my soul mate, that person who magnifies the darkest corners of your soul, shows you who you truly are and all the demons you've been holding at bay all your life, that person who has been through exactly what you've been through, but has handled things so differently than you, you both have to stop and observe deeply one another, so as to attain the tools you've been lacking all this time. It was an arduous journey, in my fortys, however necessary. 
As my fiftys approached, I knew I had to utilize all I had learned throughout my life, so I could finally breathe. I wanted, and still do, my fiftys to be MY decade, so I practiced a little magick. I bound those who had displayed so much control over my emotions, my thoughts, my behavior. I wrote their names on parchment paper and wrote a spell, in which I prayed for the permanent extrication of their toxic existence in my world. I've been practicing the same theory in weekly therapy sessions, as well. On new year's eve, I watched those people go up in smoke, I flushed the ashes down the toilet. I made plenty of room in my life for all the goodness I have deserved all along, but was denied because of the behavior I displayed ancillary to said aforementioned demons. In my spellwork, I kept only the things I know I cannot live without; my soul mate, my spirit guide, myself.
In only the two weeks since the new year, those things I let go of have disappeared, and the things I hold so tightly have reappeared. That's magick; when you're a good practitioner, be careful what you wish for, nevertheless, this weekly Horoscope I just received in my inbox really says it all:




Blessed be my wishes and my hard work; may they continue to be the catalyst for the life I crave...in my fiftys. 

-Deannalynn Arzola 

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Your Words 

A primal cry
Born in the soul
Tears blind me
From the words before me
Your words

Your words-
Death to some,
They are my life 
Repetitively read
To elicit the joy 
That they yield 

My eyes burn
As does my soul
Screaming gratitude 
To the gods
For the only thing
I prayed of them
Oh, my love,
Thou doest provide 

In the midst
Of the greatest storm,
You, my love, 
Are my anchor 
Your words are my breath 
Your presence 
My spirit 

By virtue of you,
I am me
Perpetually satiated 
By the communion 
Of us.

By Deannalynn Arzola 
For my beloved Shadow