Saturday, June 25, 2016

Why socialism is necessary

READ THIS, ESPECIALLY MY FAMILY. WHEN YOU FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR SOCIAL SERVICES , YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM, NOT THE SOLUTION!

Regarding socialism:

SOCIALISM:
a political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole.

CAPITALISM:
an economic and political system in which a country's trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit, rather than by the state.

Democratic socialists believe that both the economy and society should be run democratically—to meet public needs, not to make profits for a few. To achieve a more just society, many structures of our government and economy must be radically transformed through greater economic and social democracy so that ordinary Americans can participate in the many decisions that affect our lives.

Democracy and socialism go hand in hand. All over the world, wherever the idea of democracy has taken root, the vision of socialism has taken root as well—everywhere but in the United States. Because of this, many false ideas about socialism have developed in the US.

MY STORY:
My father is a narcissist (Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.).
My mother, who committed suicide when I was nine, was a bold and outspoken woman.
I witnessed, first hand, the effect each of them had on the other. In his inferiority, he attempted to outshine her. When he could not, he attempted to control her, belittle her, diminish her exuberant personality, as she, and her honesty and willingness to stand up to him, terrified him and easily bruised his fragile ego. When he attempted to make her feel less superior, she got in his face, she spoke her mind, she told his secrets to his family, which she was closer to than he was. She went shopping on Michigan Avenue, spending his money, she took every chance she could get to prove him the liar that he was, by being the perfect hostess at Holiday dinners, quite often thrown by her, preparing every food item from scratch, setting a table Martha Stewart would admire, and entertaining his family with grace and fun. One would think he would appreciate that, be proud, but no, he felt even more intimidated by her. He took away her money, her car, her freedom, and told her she was incapable of leaving him and supporting me. He told her if she left him and took me, he would never give her a dime, and that she would fail miserably. This drove her to drink and abuse barbiturates, which led to severe depression and her subsequent suicide. He was then able to tell his family that he was right about her all along. I was there, I saw what he did and why. I know the truth, and that makes me a threat to his illusion, and, therefore, he has perpetrated the same abuse upon me, as he did her.
He beat me with a paddle fashioned with holes for greater impact, he busted my nose three times, I still cannot breathe properly, he threw a scrub brush at my face with full force, busting and scarring my upper lip. He kicked me in the stomach so hard, that my body went flying over the back patio, causing me to land on a tree stump, causing injury to my back that recently showed up on my MRI, making my spine look like a crushed pencil, with loose shavings all around it. I wake with pain every day, and am forced to take pain medicine I detest, just to get out of bed. He always instilled in me, that if I loved him more, he would be reciprocal, however, he never loved me, causing considerable damage to me, socially. He put me in a children's home because he didn't want me, then told my family it was because I had behavioral problems. There is no history in any of my past or records that I had behavioral problems. That was a lie. I thrived at the home, while away from him.
At 50 years old, I still suffer the physical subsequence of his abuse. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, yet have never been in an abusive relationship since I stood up to him at 16 and left his house, of my own volition. I have never been involved in drugs, nor do I have a criminal record. I can't work. I want to make money, but I'm so fucked up from what he did to me and my mother, that I require mental health medicine, pain medicine and weekly therapy.
I live in a $90,000 condo, rent and utility free, as I am in a state program run by the state mental health office. I receive  $300 a month from them for personal needs. I receive  $200 a month in food stamps. I receive full medicade to treat all the problems that exist because of my father's abuse. For the first time in my life, I can breathe. I am safe. I am learning how to be social and have positive relationships. I'm leaning how to trust. I'm leaning all the things my father failed to teach me.
He did this, and most of my family knows this, because they saw it. I ran to my uncle Earnie's house, three doors down, bleeding, I ran to my uncle Frank's house when I left home, my aunt Lois, Marie, and Sue know from my mother, what he did to us, my aunt Judy, aunt Era, and aunt Billie begged him to let me live with them. Every one of their children know exactly what happened to me. No lies. No secrets.
I believe in socialism because I live it. I need it. I was abused beyond just growing out of it. I didn't ask for this, but when I asked for help, the state of Nevada and the government stepped up, to fix what HE did. Blame him, not me, for living off your government. Be narrow minded, and judge me, harshly, but you were there, you saw what he did.
When capitalists blame people for being lazy and living off the government, start placing the blame where it belongs, goddammit, on those that did this to us, not us. We don't want this any more than you do. Blame those that put us here for taking your money, not the victim who is working their ass off to become a survivor!

Sunday, June 5, 2016

"Wherever I Go"

I know I could lie but I’m telling the truth
Wherever I go there’s a shadow of you
I know I could try looking for something new
But wherever I go, I'll be looking for you

Some people lie but they're looking for magic
Others are quietly going insane
I feel alive when I’m close to the madness
No easy love could ever make me feel the same

I know I could lie, but I won't lie to you
Wherever I go, you're the ghost in the room
I don't even try looking for something new
Cause wherever I go, I'll be looking for you

Some people try but they can't find the magic
Others get down on their knees and they pray
I come alive when I’m close to the madness
No easy love could ever make me feel the same
Make me feel the same
Make me feel the same, same, same

I know I could lie but I’m telling the truth
Wherever I go there’s a shadow of you
I know I could try looking for something new
But wherever I go, I'll be looking for you
Wherever I go, I'll be looking for you, you

Some people pray to their God for some magic
Cause no easy love could ever make them feel the same
No easy love could ever make me feel the same
Make me feel the same, same, same

I know I could lie but I’m telling the truth
Wherever I go there’s a shadow of you
I know I could try looking for something new
But wherever I go, I'll be looking for you

You think it's a lie when I'm telling the truth
Wherever I go, I'll be looking for you
Wherever I go, I'll be looking for you
Looking for you, looking for you, ah