Time for my own words today...

Why?

When my new life began, it went from darkness to light. I now saw and experienced love, and having not done so before, it was even more magnetic.
My Grams and I were always drawn to one another. She made love empirical to me.
I have been looking for that kind of love since the day I truly stopped living with her, when I was about eighteen.
From the other side of my so called family, I have the gifts of intuition, perseverance and magic. 
I utilize these charms in my search for only those who are capable of loving me at that level I crave and miss from my Grams.
Does the fact that almost everyone I am drawn to are Scorpios, like my Grams, indicate coincidence or magic?
It is in you that I see a great passion for love and loyalty, and even a little mysticism, as I have seen in all my other people, the only people I perpetually carry with me, all of my Scorpios.
I should make clear that I have always been drawn to you. I begged to be on your team from the start. I have always felt so comfortable in your presence. The way you tell a story, ie; explaining a foreign concept to me and the way you share your secrets, it is always such a pleasure to engage in conversation with you. 
I trust you with my emotionality because you always know what words to use to lift my spirit to where it should be.
It is so easy to admire you. I know that you are not just what you used to do for a living, you also do what you do now and I know that that is because you choose that social element of the latter. So that makes you more than the comparison. You, my dear, are excellent at both vocations. You win.
I often wonder if Scorpios are actually aware of the love they exude. Even when they're not trying  to love you, they love you. They can't help it. I can recognize that and since that is what I am addicted to, that is what I seek. 
I almost never know the birthday before the initial magnetism, it is just simply confirmed after the fact.
Does it matter that you are a Scorpio in this choice I make to carry you with me? Yes, it probably does. It's the other way around though. It's like, "Wow, I really dig you...hey, when's your birthday? Uh huh, of course it is..." and it all makes sense from there.
Be who you are. Embrace the spirit you were conceived with. Believe in a little magic.
And trust that if I didn't know how special you are, I would have done exactly what I told you would happen when I left. I carry you because I want that comfort, and laughter, and wisdom, and passion in my life. 
You're beautiful...

-Deannalynn Arzola

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.

C. S. Lewis

"The Road Not Taken"

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Robert Frost

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea. 

Edgar Allan Poe

It's Ours
-by Charles Bukowski

there is always that space there
just before they get us
that space
that fine relaxer
the breather
while say
flopping on a bed
thinking of nothing
or say
pouring a glass of water from the
spigot
while entranced by
nothing

that 
gentle pure space

it's 
worth

centuries
of existence

say

just to scratch your neck
while looking out the window at
a bare branch

that space
there
before they get us
ensures
that
when they do
they won't
get it all

ever.

Cause and Effect
-by Charles Bukowski


the best often die by their own hand
just to get away,
and those left behind
can never quite understand
why anybody
would ever want to
get away
from
them

...for my mother, Jeanine Freeman 
I know it wasn't me you were running from, but your own demons and I do understand that our demons sometimes win.
I love you, always,
Deanie