Ode to a Female Bathroom Valet

I'm from a small town in South Dakota you've probably never of. On my twentieth wedding anniversary, my darling husband, Jack, surprised me with a weekend in Vegas. Now, let me tell you, this was a big deal for me. I've lived in Armor, SD, population 782, my entire life. I was born here, went to school here and married my high school sweetheart here. All five of my kids were born here and three of them are still in school here. In spite of the size of Armor, I've led a very busy life. My husband and I run a dairy farm here in our scenic little town not too far from the Black Hills, which keeps us busy working from sun up to sun set, so when I felt the envelope Jack slipped under my pillow the night of our twentieth, I assumed I would find another anniversary card, one I had probably received before, seein' how Armor has one drugstore, next to our six-room hospital, and it's about the only place in town to purchase a greeting card.
Imagine my excitement when I opened the envelope to find two tickets on Frontier Airlines to Las Vegas. First thing in the morning, I Googled everything Vegas. What to wear, how was the weather, where to eat, what shows to see. I'm one of those planning types and since I don't get out of Armor too often, I wanted to be prepared.
Three weeks later, Jack and I were on our way to Huron Regional Airport, and neither one of us could contain ourselves. Jack made sure to book our flight at night so we could fly over the Strip while it was awash with neon. Lord, what a sight to see. We checked into Caesar's Palace, had a late dinner at The Augusta Cafe, did a little gambling and went to bed. We had an entire three days ahead of us chock full of fun stuff planned in our own personal itinerary, so a good night's sleep was in order.
We woke up the next day, had a breakfast buffet and hit the Forum Shops. We did some sight-seeing, lots of shopping, plenty of eating and more than enough gambling and even caught The Beatles Love Show at The Mirage, but one thing I did not plan for was all the amazing night clubs Vegas had to offer. Believe you, me, the thought of Jack and me dancing in a "disco" never really crossed my mind. But here we were, in the "entertainment capital of the world", celebrating our twentieth wedding anniversary, sans the kids and the cows, so, we figured, why not?
We decided on a club inside the Bellagio, where we were greeted with the option of "bottle service". We gave it a shot. I have to say, the service was really spectacular. A "hostess" made our cocktails right there at our table. The music was great and Jack and I danced like we never had before. After a couple drinks, I excused myself to use the ladies room. Now this was something I had NOT anticipated. Bear in mind, as I said, I am a planner, and I thought I was ready for everything Vegas had to offer, but when I came out of my stall and approached the sink to wash my hands, a lady offered to squirt soap in my hand. When I couldn't get the automatic sink to dispense the water, she helped me and then she handed me a paper towel to dry my hands with. I was intrigued. I asked this lady to tell me about her job, here in this ladies room, as I myself did not realize a job like this even existed. She was more than happy to share her job description and some of her more interesting experiences with me.
Jenny referred to her title as a "Bathroom Valet". She explained to me that this is a service some of the better establishments offer to their guests. Jenny's "set up" consisted of a plethora of toiletries, such as lotions, hair products, fragrances, feminine needs, mouthwash, mini-one-use toothbrushes and dental floss, gum, mints and her own nicely scented hand soap. Her products were conveniently arranged and she kept the ladies room clean and smelling fragrant with a beautifully scented candle. When I asked her how much the bar paid her to stay in the ladies room all night, Jenny informed me that she worked strictly for tips. I must admit, I felt a little embarrassed asking all these questions, but Jenny reassured me that most people were not familiar with this new service and also asked her many of the same questions.
Having been made to feel quite comfortable by my "bathroom valet", I asked Jenny if she was actually able to make a living at it. She explained to me that in a lot of instances, ladies don't bring money with them to the restroom, unaware that a service like this is offered, however, once they know that Jenny provides all of these items at her own cost, so that her customers have access to things they would other wise have to purchase at an exorbitant cost in the hotel's gift shop, or return to their room to use, they often come back into her restroom to tip her. She also explained to me that some ladies feel uncomfortable and don't feel they should have to tip someone for handing them a towel, but assured me, the discomfort is unwarranted and she provides this service as a little something extra to enhance her guests' experience.
I spent so much time with Jenny, that when I returned to our table, Jack thought I had gotten lost. When I shared my story with him, however, he informed me that the men's room had an attendant, as well. Of course, Jack said he thought this was "just another Vegas thing" and that he was pleased with the service of being handed a towel in the men's room.
When we returned home, thoroughly exhausted, we developed our photos, invited our friends over and shared our magnificent memories with them until we were blue in the face. By the time we were finished, everyone in little Armor was ready to book the next flight to Vegas and when I told all my girlfriends about the unexpected service I experienced with my "Bathroom Valet", the girls suggested, perhaps we should hire someone at our local coffee shop to offer us the same service Jenny did.
 I'm sure Jenny would get a real kick out of that!!!  

In April 1967, Dr. Martin Luther King was jailed in Birmingham, Alabama for organizing a peaceful demonstration during the Easter shopping season in hopes of removing humiliating racial signs from storefront windows, among other atrocities perpetrated by Southern Segregationists. As president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, he and his staff were invited to Birmingham by the Alabama Christian Movement for Human Rights. Upon agreement to come when called upon, Dr. King negotiated with store owners in Birmingham and a compromise was reached by both parties. If the store owners agreed to take down their "Whites Only" signs, a moratorium would be called on all demonstrations. Unfortunately, the store owners broke their promise and Dr. King realized he had no choice but to take action.
In the weeks leading up to the planned Easter action, the Reverend held classes for his demonstrators on non-violent protest, however Dr. King and his group of peaceful demonstrators were condemned, not for utilizing their first amendment right to peaceful assembly, but for their timing. I pose the question, "Is there ever an efficient time to demonstrate in the minds of those who refuse to perpetuate necessary change?"
In fact, Dr. King presented this certitude in a letter he wrote while incarcerated at the Birmingham Jail; "Lamentably, it is an historical fact that the privileged seldom give up their privileges voluntarily" and noted how "Through painful experience, freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor, it must be demanded by the oppressed'.
When I think about the title give to Dr. King, that of  "Civil Rights Leader", I don't think of a man who worked tirelessly for the betterment of one particular caste. I think of a man who laid down his very life for the advancement of the human race. 
It is one thing to be an outspoken advocate for change, for as it has been said, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease". But to stand by silently as those who attempt to effect change are condemned, for fear that they themselves might become segregated, must pursue the courage to speak out against injustice.

-Deannalynn Arzola

"Patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone."

-Nurse Cavell, immediately prior to execution by German firing squad, 1915

 

'Nuff Said:::

"The Christian fear of the Pagan outlook has damaged the whole consciousness of man" 

-D.H. Lawrence

D.H. Lawrence wrote one of my favorite stories, "The Rocking Horse Winner". It was published in the early 20th century and tells the tale of a young lad named Paul, whose parents are consumed with money at the impairment of their children. When Paul receives a rocking horse for Christmas, the horse soon becomes his best friend and constant companion and allows Paul to lose himself in the enjoyment of the ride. Subsequently, Paul believes his beloved horse can communicate with him, picking winners for the next horse race, tips Paul passes on to his uncle, a gambler. 

Paul's uncle shares a percentage of his winnings with Paul, who in turn hands the loot over to his greedy parents. Seeing that his parents are finally happy with their new wealth, Paul rides his horse harder and harder until one day, he doesn't awake from his trance and passes away.

D.H. Lawrence was an amazing writer with a fantastic imagination and I was so fortunate to listen to my friend Nova practice the telling of this tale over and over as my freshman lit class prepared for a Poetry and Prose competition. Of course, Nova won. Her "Rocking Horse" was a winner.

DeannalynnArzola

Gateway to Wonderland

I open my eyes to darkness

My lips part to yawn a silent scream

I swallow a bitter pill

I bathe in contempt for humanity

My soul prepares for loss 

And my  shattered heart dons armor

My enervated mind endeavors to focus

I clothe my weary constitution

And embark upon an unwanted journey

The frigid air of life cracks my face

But I soldier on, a choice I make with great tenacity.

Wading through quicksand, a brilliant light beckons

One more excruciating mile  

A willow bends to extend it's aid

And I pull myself up

The air is much lighter 

And for once, I can breathe.

The sweet smell of decay fills my senses

Twisted branches offer a bridge

And my unfamiliar curiosity compels me

Wondering if the grass is greener as I traverse my path

My thoughts are interrupted

I turn to face the luminous chasm

Warmth encapsulates me

And the constant companionship of pain departs 

I open my eyes to light

My lips part in awe

I bathe in welcomed wonder

 My soul prepares for benediction

And my heart begins to heal. 

 -by Deannalynn Arzola

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12-12-12:

Much can be said about the mystical power of the number twelve. In fact, people have been deciphering it's meaning for thousands of years.
In Greek Mythology, the number twelve has held very significant meaning, beginning with what they observed as planetary alignment and what they saw in the stars, hence the origin of the Zodiac. The word "Zodiac" comes from the Greek term meaning "circle of animals" and these animals came to represent great acts of heroism, finding their place among the stars. The sign of Cancer stems directly from the twelve trials of Hercules, who is one of  twelve Olympian deities.


In Celtic Mythology, King Arthur is buried in Avalon, where it also believed  the holy grail is hidden, he ruled with twelve knights seated at his Round Table, but more about Celticism in a moment.
Going back to the days of the Roman Empire, in the years leading up to the birth of Christ, the calender we use today was introduced with twelve months in a year, twelve hours signifying am and pm, twelve hours on the face of a clock and twelve jurors assembled for trial.
Twelve is a highly significant number in Christianity, as well. As far as we know, Jesus was born in the twelfth month of the year, he had 12 apostles, and miraculously rose twelve people from the dead .
There are twelve inches in a foot and twelve ribs in the human body, but here's where things really get interesting. There are three 12's in today's date. Ask any numerologist and they will gladly extol the virtues of the number three, but first, a little mathematical numerology:
1 + 2 = 3, the square root of twelve is 3.4, multiply those two numbers and you get 12, it takes three feet (12 inches in each) to make up a yard, and there are four elements, four seasons and four directions. Yup, that's right, four times three, well, you know where I'm goin' with this.
According to numerology, 12 is considered a "three" number because the digits add up to three.
.

And three is a very good number because it corresponds with the largest planet, Jupiter, in addition to wealth. Jupiter is, in fact, considered by astrologists to be the planet of luck, three, the luckiest number, and in case you're wondering, the number 1 planet is the sun, and the number 2 planet is the moon, making the sum of these numbers even luckier then the whole of their parts. In the ancient practice of Feng Shui, the number one is odd and earthly and the number two is even and heavenly, so to find them side by side times three surely bears some significance to the balance of things today.

In Celtic Mythology, the number three is tied into Judaism and Christianity in some astoundingly magical ways, for instance,  the number three is used in the Torah to meditate between two opposing or contradictory values. Celtic Shamans believed they could see past, present and future. Christ was visited by three kings on the night of his birth. The most heavenly gifts are faith, hope and love. Jesus rose from the dead three days after his execution by the Romans. Numbers 6:23,24 (from the old testament) states, "The Lord bless and keep you, The Lord shine his face upon you The Lord lift his countenance upon you." In Greek mythology, Poseidon carried the Trident to rule the sea, which covers two-thirds of the earth. All three of these major spiritual and long standing beliefs are represented by three-dichotomous charms. The cross, (the father, son, and holy ghost), the Megan David (two triangles), and the Triquatra:

Even fairy tales tell of three wishes, three guesses, three little pigs. 
There are twelve face cards in a deck of cards, twelve days of Christmas, and twelve eggs in a dozen.

The numbers 3 and 12 have represented our knowledge, our spirituality, even our childhood memories for centuries. They are powerful, magical and meaningful and this is the last time this century three of the same numbers will appear on our calendar in succession so take this day, December 12, 2012, and make it magical.

Oh, yeah, by the way, it's Wednesday. The third day of the week in the twelfth month of the twelfth year of this millennium.

Blessed be....   

"It's unbelievable how much you DON'T know about the game you've been playing all your life!"

Mickey Mantle

On Baseball (or love...)

"DRY LIGHTENING"

I threw my robe on in the morning 

Watched the ring on the stove turn red 

Stared hypnotized into a cup of coffee 

Pulled on my boots and made the bed 

Screen door hangin' off its hinges 

Kept bangin' me awake all night 

As I look out the window 

The only thing in sight 

Is dry lightning on the horizon line 

Just dry lightning and you on my mind.

 

I chased the heat of her blood 

Like it was the holy grail 

Descend beautiful spirit

Into the evening pale 

Her appaloosa's kickin' in the corral, smelling rain 

There's a low thunder rolling 'cross the mesquite plain 

But there's just dry lightning on the horizon line 

It's just dry lightning and you on my mind 

                                                                                   

                                                                                 

                                                                                    

                                                                              

 I'd drive down to Alvarado Street

Where she'd dance to make ends meet 

I'd spend the night over my gin

As she'd talk to her men 

Well the piss yellow sun 

Comes bringin' up the day 

She said, "Ain't nobody can give nobody

What they really need anyway." 

Well you get so sick of the fightin' 

You lose your fear of the end

 

But I can't lose your memory a

nd the sweet smell of your skin 

And it's just dry lightning on the horizon line, j

ust dry lightning and you on my mind.

Words and Music by Bruce Springsteen

"You Ain't Nothin' Tub a Hound-dog"...

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 "FALLEN"

-Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
[2X]

Home For the Howlidays

-by Deannalynn Arzola

Cassie, an adorable 4 year old shepherd mix, has a lot to be thankful for this holiday season; she has found a forever home with Toni and Rhonda, who have been a part of our HCWS family for several years now. In fact, Cassie is the fifth rescue they have adopted.
When Cassie first came home, she had negligible human trust issues, but after settling in nicely with her family was, within four weeks, following her brothers and sisters thru the doggie door, and up the stairs to settle in for the night.
“Crazy Cassie”, as she is lovingly called by her moms, enjoys chasing Molly and Bebe around the pool and enthusiastically hopping up on Bebe’s back to earn her treats.
Cassie is a graduate of our highly successful “Pups on Parole” program. “Pups on Parole” partners dogs in need of homes with female inmates at the Southern Nevada Women’s Correctional Facility in North Las Vegas, in an attempt to beneficially rehabilitate both. The dogs stay with their foster moms 24 hours a day, learning to adjust to human companionship, to trust, and to become successfully adoptable through behavioral training provided by the inmates. This program simultaneously allows the ladies at SNWCF to learn a useful skill, receiving the rehabilitation needed to forge a successful life outside of the walls of the prison while paying their debt to society. For further information on this amazing program, please visit us at https://www.hcws.org/programs-events/programs/pups-on-parole.

This is a time of year when most of us give thanks for the blessings in our lives. Here at HCWS, we are so thankful for pet parents like Toni and Rhonda. We know that Cassie is thankful for her new home, as well, and Toni informs me that she and Rhonda are very thankful for their basset hound, Molly, who has welcomed all of her new family members with great patience and open paws.
We hope that during this holiday season, more abandoned animals will have much to be thankful for, and we know what a gift a rescue dog is to a warm and loving family.
If you are thinking of gifting a pet to someone for the holidays, please make sure that they are ready to welcome a new pet into their home and please consider a rescue. When you adopt an abandoned animal, you are not just giving the gift of a pet to your loved ones, you are giving the gift of life, and that is the greatest gift of all. 

Happy holidays from all of us at Heaven Can Wait.

A moonlit night that shines so bright
on things we wish to hide from sight
and serves to show the things we know
to those we've known from long ago,
that which we refuse to see,
those truths we simply can't set free.
-Deannalynn Arzola

- Julian Lennon

Page Navarro

The holidays are upon us and it can be a very joyful time of year. Some of us have problems during the holidays and sometimes are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us. And, many people have no one to spend these times with and are besieged by loneliness. We all need caring thoughts and loving prayer right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy, paste, and share this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. (You have to copy & paste this one, no sharing.)

The above statement was posted by my friend, Page Navarro. Page is a truly remarkable man and a Las Vegas anomaly. I have lived in Vegas (off and on) for a little over twenty years. I consider Las Vegas my hometown. I raised my daughter here and this is where my family lives. Las Vegas can be a very difficult town to live in. A half a million visitors breeze through my hometown without ever giving a second thought to the massive suburbia in which we all reside, just blocks from the hotels that reach into the desert sky. The twenty-four hour legality of vice settles into our valley and never sleeps. Most of us "locals" have learned to live with these vices and view them as the privileges they are, ignoring their beckoning and going about the business of life. There are, of course, the few that come to Vegas with big dreams and bigger ghosts. These are the few that flock to the twenty-four hour slot bars and take a chance with their pay, as the liquor flows freely and once inflexible  inhibitions are vanquished. Their dreams become nightmares. Nightmares they pass on to the wives and husbands who frequent our community with such anger, sadness and despair, they pass it on to the folks who work at the grocery store, who pass it on to their customers, who pass it on to their kids, who pass it on to their friends, and so on, and so on, and so on. Thus making Vegas a sometimes difficult place to live. It has been a hard town to make and retain friends in. 

And then, there is Page Navarro. Page has lived in Las Vegas all his life. He will be thirty-two next month. I actually met Page at one of the aforementioned local watering holes while shooting pool. I had played Nine Ball about twenty years prior but could not remember the rules. Page voluntarily walked me through each move, step by step. I remember thinking, "Wow, what a nice guy. A really nice guy!"

Not really having any friends, as I mentioned, I would go to the bar attempting to re-socialize myself after my divorce, and sit by alone, which by the way only exacerbated my uneasiness. Page would often sit next to me and just chit chat. On one occasion, we were sharing a basket of home made potato chips when a cockroach decided to join us for dinner. Allow me to digress, most people I know and have experienced in this town would throw the biggest fit you ever saw. Page simply reached for an empty ashtray, turned it upside down and placed it on top of the insect. We sat there laughing our asses off as we watched the poor creature try to figure out how to escape. Subsequently, the roach conquered it's prison and the great escape was made. Page handled the situation like a true soul soldier.

As time went by, Page and I became friends. As I got to know him , I found this incredible Las Vegas anomaly. I once commented to Page how mush I prefer dogs to people. I said something to the effect, "Wouldn't you just rather be with animals?" Now, let me just say that Page is a monumental lover of animals. When I went to his house I was greeted at the door by a plethora of pups, and a very cool cat, and as I was complaining about the human race, he was telling me the story of his best friend's African Grey, who had fled his current owner and was probably flying over Vail Colorado as we spoke. Page's answer to me was, "No. I'd rather be with my mom, then my brother...", etcetra. 

Page is also a musician. He plays and writes music and is in a local band. Being the writer I am, I am a firm believer that any creative expression is a contribution to society. The thing that fascinated me most, however, about Page's house was his record player. For those of you raised on little plastic compact disks, a record player is used to spin vinyl. In my moment of utter shock and in between my exclamations of Page's absolute "coolness", we discussed how beautiful music is when pumped through a speaker via turn table, you know, that rich depth that you FEEL when you hear it. This is by far the coolest thirty-something I had ever met.

The most wonderful thing about my friend Page Navarro, however, and the reason I have told this story today is the post he put on his FaceBook page. The one I began this blog with. You see, in this crazy, mixed up, muddled up world we call home, there are the few, the very few who calm us and settle us and make us feel at home in a dusty old valley in the middle of the Mojave Desert.

And God bless 'em... 

     Favorite Quotes:

"For there is nothing more gratifying to the writer than the shaken effect of her reader."

-Deannalynn Arzola

"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity."

-Edgar Allen Poe

"It has been said 'Time heals all wounds'. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting it's sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."  -Rose Kennedy

"The best music is essentially there to provide you something to face the world with." -Bruce Springsteen

"Our Creator would never have made such lovely days, and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal." -Nathaniel Hawthorne

"I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!" -Marilyn Monroe

"Monsters are real. And ghosts are real, too. They live inside us and sometimes they win." -Stephen King

"Moonlight is sculpture"

 -Nathaniel Hawthorne

Blessed Be:::

Deannalynn Arzola

Today is the first day of the rest of my blog. As I am just beginning this new endeavor, it may seem somewhat generic, however, I am certain that as I continue to learn this craft, this blog will evolve.
My plan for this blog is to share quotes that I enjoy, including a few of my own, great films, beautiful literature, and meaningful music. I also wish to share my thoughts, to get them out of my head and onto "paper". It should be said that in no way do I wish to exact my opinions on anyone. For I am a firm believer that everyone owns the right to share their opinions without recourse, as I myself am a listener, learner, then debater. It is not my intention to castigate anyone's character, infringe upon anyone's copy-write or plagiarize anyone's written word. That being said, here goes:

"For there is nothing more gratifying to the writer than the shaken effect of her reader."
 -Deannalynn Arzola

While I would say that mid-19th century literature is my favorite written word, the language, the allegory, the poetry, one of my favorite modern authors is Stephen King. Mr. King said, "Monsters are real. And ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win." My interpretation of this quote is that we all have demons within. Personally, I like to consider myself charmed. A witch able to kick demon ass on demand. Of course, this type of slaying takes practice, and learning, and magic, and believe me, it took me several years to learn how to slay my demons, but I did, and that means that it is possible. When we have these demons coming round and  constantly disrupting our daily lives, it alters our true self. We say things we don't mean, hurt people we love, act out in negative ways. Stephen King is obviously one of the most successful horror writers of all time and it would not behoove him to share with us the key to slaying monsters. But in real life, killing the monsters that live inside us is a must. If we are to share our world with one another, which I believe we are to do, and we allow these monsters to prevail, the end result is a misery none of us should have to endure. It takes copious amounts of hard work to change our future from the past we have been handed, but it is well worth the work!!!

"The ninety and nine are with dreams, content but the hope of the world made new, is the hundredth man who is grimly bent on making those dreams come true."
-Edgar Allen Poe

Edgar Allen Poe is the first American writer ever to attempt a living with just his writing. When he could not even afford the cost of the stamp to send his beloved Virginia a letter, he unfortunately had to take work as a literary critic for several weekly newspapers, alienating some of his greatest friends along the way. Friends like Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Nathaniel Hawthorne. For Mr. Poe was grimly bent on making his dreams come true. All be it at the expense of friendship with some of the finest classic writers we cherish to this day. One cannot simply be content that all will be made new, one must attempt to make their dreams come true. Whatever the cost.

"Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more. Men were deceivers ever. One foot in sea and one on shore, to one thing constant, NEVER!"
-William Shakespeare; Much Ado About Nothing

What is it we women expect of men? And what do they expect of us? This is truly the perpetual question. What did Eve expect of Adam, and he her? One may never know. All I can do is share my own experience with men, deceivers ever. When I met my husband, Dave, I knew right then and there he was my husband. I had waited to meet him all my life. I remember standing in front of the minister on our wedding day thinking, "OK, I don't believe 'God' created the world and all, but, man, as I stand here reciting my vows before my husband, my daughter, this minister, this is most definitely a promise we are making before our own 'Higher Powers'. This shit's for life!!!" But can we really make this promise? Who can promise to love one and only one fifty years into the future? As my life with David progressed, there were times when I loved him more than the first day we met, more than on our wedding day, but there were times when I met people I fell in love with just as much as I did David. Well, there was one person I fell in love with... Anyway, I was faced with a choice. It was not a choice I ever asked to make, but a choice I was faced with none-the-less. I remember lying in this other man's arms in the afterglow of a night at the very same Jersey Shore bar our favorite rock star played in before he ever cut vinyl, and I was this close to forsaking these aforementioned vows when it hit me, how much I really loved my husband. I loved him more than the setting I was in with a man I still love to this day. I loved him so much, I climbed off the lap of my other beloved and said, "Jesus, Ade, I just can't do this. I love him too much.". It wasn't about guilt for me, it was about the love hurdle standing before me, which actually had nothing to do with the vows I had said 9 years prior. Subsequently, after a 15 year romance that is most definitely one for the books, David did cheat on me. It is truly my belief that to one love, we cannot be true indefinitely. It is a promise we cannot make. At the end of the day, it was my immense love for my husband that stopped me from cheating and it should be said that at the end of the very same day, it is that love that kept me from staying with him when he cheated on me. A man cannot be judged for weakness when straying from the arms of his wife. It has nothing to do with strength. It has, however, everything to do with love. I am not here to offer advice to the constituency, only to say that one cannot judge another person's commitment. To one thing constant is a hard thing for anyone to do, hell, Shakespeare knew that 400 years ago. All one can do is judge themselves. Amen

Magic is beautiful, karma is inevitable.

Blessed be...