"So Much More Than Good Enough"

by Deannalynn Arzola

 As I sat outside my place last night, excogitating the events of the past few days, I came to the conclusion that my relationship w/the arachnid, as it stands, is good enough.

What propelled me to reconcile said relationship in these terms was a thought my friend Zandra shared w/me; "You're my bitch, right now!!!"

Okay, let me go back to earlier Saturday...I had been invited to a friend's birthday party some time ago. This is a friend I will always say yes to, and a friend to whom I'll never break a promise. I brought the invitation to the attention of my boss right around the time I was invited, who advised me to request the PTO in our time tracking software, but I was unable to as I am a travel agent and Labor Day is two weeks away. When I reminded him of the request, he said; "Oh, yeah, I thought I approved that, take the day off. We really appreciate all you do for us...", etc. A friend drove me to the party where we met up with several other friends, had an amazing Armenian buffet and at least two bottles of really good wine.

My beautiful soul mate arrived shortly, thereafter, and anytime she enters my presence, my heart becomes full. Maggie brings the love to my life. She says things from her heart that move me to tears. Her honesty is gentle. Her protection of my happiness is fierce. She is altruistic completely by nature. She is smart and funny and wicked. Last night, she lowered me down into that part of her emotional well only the most privileged get to draw life giving water from. She asked for my advice on the matter. A Scorpio...She will always have my blessing and my support.

I kinda could've left the party quite content at that point, but, I, again, chose the road less traveled, resulting in all the difference. By this time, the Ouzo was flowing freely and so was the easy and intellectual conversation between myself and my mystical and resplendent engineer pal, Morgan. I remember a favorite line from a lovely film called "Spanglish"; "My mother has often said she had the conversation of her life that night..." Morgan is one of those people from which one would derive several conversations of a lifetime. He's an intellectual equal, with literary acumen, empirical perception of all things spiritual and a keen application of architecture. A true Renaissance man, Morgan brings the intellect to my life. This is one of those lovely man/woman relationships with friendship and respect as the foundation upon which it builds. I realized this exponentially as the moon traversed across the crystal  waters of Tualatin Commons Lake.

Getting back to the beginning, my friend Zan. Zan is duplicitously young and wise, strong, yet fragile, carefree, but determined. She came upon me like a cat in need of warm place to rest for a few days. She has stayed six weeks, thus far. Zandra brings the life to my life. Her duplicitous nature forces me to get up in the morning and go to work while greeting me with a party every night when I come home. She is the only person I know who can keep me grounded with my head in the clouds. She never fails to prove the rewards I have worked tirelessly to achieve and know I deserve. She is my girl, my sister, my friend. And because she needs me at this time in our lives, I am her bitch, right now. There simply isn't any room for anybody else.

My friends all offer me their never ending love, their support and their own personal definition of magic. In some way, they have all made a difference so substantial, they have changed the the way I see the world in which I live. No amount of therapy, or medication, has ever been able to do that. They are honest and kind and open.

And while I have met a few people who espouse the antithesis of these characteristics, the relationships I have with them are good enough the way they are.

It is the relationships I have with my friends that grant me the possibility and equip me with the super-power to enjoy my life to the absolute fullest every moment of every day.

And they are so much more than good enough!!!