Beloved,

This is one of those moments when I so badly want to express my feelings to you. I feel verbally reticent, as I do, but these words inside my head, my heart, my soul simply have to be recorded for perpetuity. I want you to hear these words.
This conversation we had tonight, in regards to your daughter is affecting on so many levels. I want you to know what I take away from it and let seep very deeply in my mind the picture I see when I hear your words and the way you refer to her to me. (You know, and you're the only person who needs to)

Number one, I see you love. We've talked about this. (One of my favorite things about you is your ability to forgive me so purely and completely) I am not surprised about this at all. I have seen you love for as long as I've known you. People who do not know you thought they were doing me a favor when they said things like, "He does not love you, cannot love you, will never love you. He's incapable". And perhaps they were, because I argued with every single one of them, every step of the way. I fought, not just for your character, but for my own understanding of who you are, what it looks like when you love someone and what it looks like when you don't. Understanding clearly that what we have is indefinable, I have never felt that you do not love me. You are consistently there for me, you are able to forgive my transgressions, you are keenly aware how fucked up I am, but you understand why. I have seen how hurt you are by my actions, sometimes my words. There is allot of passion behind your anger with me. You made me a promise. I know you wouldn't have done that if you didn't intend to keep it. You trust me. And, my love, the sticky note. I used to walk by that note everyday and wonder why it was still there, no longer able to stick to your cubicle, tethered by a push pin, a push pin on which you hung your gear. I believed in the beginning that it was your way of keeping me posted. I believed that it meant something special to you. It had to. It was in plain view (You know), for a very long time. It's how I knew who you loved and who you didn't. It never really mattered what anyone else said on the subject. I knew. And you knew how to let me know.
I could almost say that I didn't think it was possible to love you more than I did then. I love you more today than I ever have. To witness your heart at work, to hear your words, to feel how much you love her. (You know)
Number two: I truly believe with all of my being that bringing her into this world is the best thing that has ever happened to you and I understand so empirically why. My knowing that the two of you will love one another unconditionally, eternally brings me such a sense of wonder. It's crazy, it's why I know you're my other half, because I am a selfish bitch, but there is not one ounce of that inside of me at all. God I'm glad I know you, still. And I can see the kind of love you are capable of, as I've said all along. I have no doubt that I will be aware of this forever. As I have and do, I will stand on file on that til the end of time.
I love you more every day, Five. It's a bond I know will continue to strengthen. It's a relationship of the soul and that's different from any other relationship I've ever experienced. It's more than lust, it's more than friendship. It's indefinable. 
I know you know I love you. I know you're good with that. I know you know I get you. I know it's from the start to the finish. I know it's the best thing ever that she's here. If I ever did doubt you for a minute, just know, I get that you have proven me wrong, exponentially and let me tell you, my beloved, never have I been so happy to be such an idiot.

Perpetually,
DeAnn