Do Parents Create Narcissists?
One day, my boss was being his usual overaccomodating self when I said, "Thank god for you, Norman. "
He replied, "God has nothing to do with it."
"Who does?", I asked, in response.
"My parents.", he said proudly.
Some time later, I began dating Norman. In the beginning of our relationship, two major events occurred; one, he was terribly flattering ("You're bewitching", he would say as he gazed longingly into my eyes.) and two, as he sat across the table from me in one if my favorite Beaverton restaurants, he said to me, "My ex-wife says I'm a narcissist."
The flattery and charm wore off after about a month, and sure as the sun will cross the sky, the narcissistic behavior ensued.
I met his parents. His father is a retired plastic surgeon (insert narcissism joke, here), and his mother, actually, I'm not sure what she did; I believe she was a teacher. Nevertheless, one of his sisters suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and the other two keep their secrets to themselves.
When Norman told me his parents were the reason he is the man he is, he was being uncharacteristically honest, as he was when he said his partner of twenty-three years (she is a behavioral science major, by the way) believes him to be a narcissist.
My two and a half year long journey with Norman taught me a lot about human behavior.
Listen to people when they tell you who they are and why.
Oh, and if your boyfriend is nicer to the hostess than he is to you, run in the opposite direction as fast as you can!
Deannalynn Arzola
(such a healthier, stronger, and wiser person these days.)
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