The Angel of Patience

-by J.G. Whittier

To weary hearts, to mourning homes,
God’s meekest angel gently comes :
No power has he to banish pain,
Or give us back our lost again ;
And yet, in tenderest love, our dear
And heavenly Father sends him here.

There’s quiet in that angel’s glance,-
There’s rest in his still countenance :
He mocks no grief with idle cheer,
Nor wounds with words the mourner’s ear;
But ills and woes he may not cure,-
He kindly learns us to endure.

Angel of Patience ! sent to calm
Our feverish brow with cooling palm,-
To lay the storms of hope and fear,
And reconcile life’s smile and tear;
The throbs of wounded pride to still,
And make our own our Father’s will.

Oh, thou who mournest on thy way,
With longings for the close of day !
He walks with thee, -that angel kinds,-
And gently whispers, “Be resigned !
Bear up, bear on,-the end shall tell
The dear Lord ordereth all things well.”

My creativity has temporarily been replaced by daydreams...today, I borrow others...I thank you for your patience...
Deannalynn Arzola

"Patience"

Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt
You're in my heart now
Said, woman, take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said, sugar, make it slow
And we come together fine
All we need is just a little patience 
Mm, yeah
I sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now
I'll wait, dear
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love
There's one more thing to consider
Said, woman, take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said, sugar, take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it,
We won't fake it,
I'll never break it 'cause I can't take it

...little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah need a little patience, yeah just a little patience, yeah more patience, yeah need some patience, yeah could use some patience, yeah gotta have some patience, yeah all it takes is patience, just a little patience is all you need...

I've been walkin' these streets at night
Just tryin' to get it right
Hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in the crowd
And the streets don't change, but baby the name
And I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you, yeah, yeah, but I need you, oh, I need you
Whoa, I need you...
All this time. 

-Guns n Roses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErvgV4P6Fzc&list=PLAF17C1873F99FB53 

"Need You Now"
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
Oh, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh, baby, I need you now. 

by Lady Antebellumhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

Clandestine:
Webster's defines clandestine as  the practice of hiding information from certain individuals or groups, perhaps while sharing it with other individuals or characterized by, done in, or executed with secrecy or concealment, especially for purposes of subversion or deception; private or surreptitious.

Surreptitious has most recently been one of my favorite words. Clandestine comes to mind as I have recently been thinking of all the wonderful journeys I have been on in my life. Many of my friends are where I  was 25 years ago and I am sort of watching them from the sidelines, ref stripes on my shirt and whistle in hand. It is quite enjoyable being available to my younger friends, whose ages are very close to that of my own beloved daughter, but this is not really my point.
What has me thinking about the definition of clandestine is where I'm at in my life these days. I find great pleasure expounding the virtues of my truly magnificent marriage. I really did live this beautiful life, full to the hilt of domestic bliss. My remarkable husband came into our lives when my daughter, Nich, was five years old. He raised her with love, respect and trust and as I sit here and write this, tears come to my eyes, as this man is, and probably more than me, responsible for the mature and fully functioning adult my daughter is.
When it was time to move on from this journey, he and I were able to separate ourselves from one another and this is something we both deserved from each other, as we had given each other all the love throughout that we possibly could have. For all the things that David did for me, all of his patience and love and guidance, he deserves to live his third act the way he wishes. And so do I.
Having been blessed already, with domesticity, I am kind of eying the great American love affair. I have grown up in front of the silver screen and it is my great ambition to write a wickedly awesome screenplay for my favorite director, Tim Burton, so movies have enthralled  me my entire life...Some great American love affairs would be to me; Casablanca: Beautiful Princess walks into a bar...does she marry the King of Czechoslovakia, or have her love affair with her hot and sexy bar keep? At this point in my life, I'm goin' with the latter. Gone With the Wind comes to mind: As Scarlett's beloved Atlanta burns to the ground, all she can think about is lookin' good for her man. How about Ghost? Now that's love, baby...I'm coming back from the dead and jumping inside a crazy black woman just so I can touch you one more time.
Ahhh, the love affair. This is my definition: A gorgeous man walks into my life. I look at him in an entirely different context than what I have before in regards to my past fellas. I am not looking for a husband. I am looking for a lover. A man who will ravish me unabashedly and connect with me deeply. He is still all the things I admire in a man. I mean after all, if it works, why fix it? So he is smart and confident and intense and deep. His birthday is probably gonna be in November, because, as I told my girlfriend, whose birthday is in November, number one, can one ever really be married to a Scorpio, I mean, the intensity may just kill you, and two, as an honorable woman, to some degree, I wouldn't want to take one off the market. That's just not nice to my fellow females. So Mr. November will most definitely fit the bill.
 This is my love affair, so it will be filled with incredible passion. An analogy would be; I grew up on the grounds of Astroworld. I saw allot of amazing concerts there. The joy, however, did not necessary lie in the end result. It was the fun during the day, the excitement of having waited in line for an hour and a half to ride the Cyclone and being next in line. The clicking of the coaster, slowly making it's ascent and then the drop. The whole day, to me, is worth that first drop. The sex is dirty and secretive and almost embarrassing, it does not, however, consist of the cap being left off the toothpaste. I will never ask him politely, to please hang his Levi's on the chair. The benefit of the love affair, as opposed to the marriage, is the ripping off of said Levi's. They can land wherever the hell they want!
I know that this is something I am capable of and it is truly what I desire. A love affair of my heart and of my mind, but most importantly of my soul. While this man would be my soul mate, it is in an entirely different context. Am I asking too much? You see, the problem with this prerequisite is that not everyone is at the same place in their lives. What is one to do if the object of her affection is not in this same place?
Here in lies my word...
Clandestine.
A love affair, should  by all accounts be surreptitious, secretive, private. Surely the secrecy surrounding the love affair makes it all the more exciting. Is it okay to be selfish and just enjoy the fruits of one's labor for having been a good wife and mother? Please understand, that while my great American love affair certainly serves to please me, and mostly me, I do still have scruples and a married man will absolutely never do, I do, however, kinda think that a man who can commit his body and soul to me while at the same time committing his heart and his time to his domesticity is kinda hot...

Surreptitious.
I seem to have this sort of addictive affinity for mystery. This is a little odd for a gal who finds great joy in the planning of every little detail. This mystery seems to be perpetually tethered to the kind of man I am attracted to. With incredible depth comes an almost honor code in the secrecy of said depth. And that is OK. It is quite a sight to see this person with whom you want to simply consume on a purely carnal level, know he is not readily available, however, know that all the things that you have been drawn to are all the things that he espouses and wonder if this great American love affair can ever really be. This is a man, I have come to understand, who's greatest joy is the realization that he is understood, for all the amazing things he does to help the people he cares about, and for the depth and intensity that he is capable of. I see in him that everything he does is on such a larger scale than anyone else I know, and to see him come to the realization that I am one of the few people able to really reconcile that this is a gift in and of it's self, is one of the greatest joys of my so-called new life! How am I effected by the whole"executed with secrecy or concealment" thing, you ask? Well, this particular creature is all about the execution in secrecy...
And that is what draws me to him, even more.
I decided recently, that I would make a promise to myself, for his benefit, as well, that I would be more selfish. More surreptitious. I chose this promise because it is a promise I know he can understand on a very spiritual level. 
Share with me your wisdom on the ins and outs of  surreptitiousness, my love. This is an art form of which I am lacking.
Give to me my clandestine, great American love affair, and I will gladly pay you $60,000. It is, I'm sure, an education worth every penny, every second and every single secret...

-by Deannalynn Arzola

OBSERVE:
To watch, view, or note for a scientific, official, or other special purpose: to observe an eclipse
To see, watch, perceive, or notice: to observe a behavior


Observe seems to be the word of the day.
Today is November 3 and there is an amazing solar eclipse today. When reading the news of the day, I was advised to observe. I live in the Pacific Northwest, so, for me, this is not literally an option, however, I am certainly observing it's existence.
 I was recently having a conversation with my beloved house mate and friend. We were talking quite extensively, as we always do, and in one of her sentences, she used the word "observe". I immediately thought, "that is not the word I have used in that instance". It was the right word, I just would have said something like, "watch". I insisted she elaborate. 
Why the word "observe", Maggie? 
"Well, that it is what it is", she said. "When I'm observing, it's not just seeing, it's processing that information, as well". 
I thought about the different uses for the word. She is completely right. It's different than just the seeing.
That my friends, like Maggie, observe their people, is something I am familiar with. I explained to her that while hanging out with my best friend at a bar called Big Dogs, I was looking at him from across the room, sitting slouched in the booth. Notice, I said looking. I told Maggie that when I saw him looking at me, at the bar, the word that came to me, first, was "observe". We had been friends a couple months at the time and he was understanding me, in that moment, or attempting to, and that is wickedly deep.
It is so amazing to have people in your life who teach you how to really observe the things in your life. Of course, this is also an investigatory tool, used to assist in the final decision. In or out. But it works. And it's brilliant.
Observing things like holidays sort of falls into that category. The benefits of this kind of observation lie directly in the emotionality of the moment. Bringing emotion into sight is what makes the observation all that more enjoyable.
I have seen this word used before. It was almost verbatim and used in the same context as Webster's defines it above.
The lesson of the day is the difference between sight and observation.
Observe your surroundings, soak up your life, live it exponentially and appreciate every experience .
Observe... 

-by Deannalynn Arzola






  

 "Give To Live                             -Sammy Hagar

I can see that you've got

Fire in your eyes

And pain inside your heart,

So many things have come &

Torn your world apart

Oh baby, baby, baby...don't give up

Don't give up...don't give up

If you want love, you've got to give a little
If you want faith, you just believe a little  
If you want peace, turn your cheek a little

You've got to give...you've got to give...

You've got to give to live

An empty hand reaching out for someone
An empty heart takes so little to fill
It's so much easier to push instead of pull

Baby, baby, baby, don't give up, don't give up, don't give up...

 

If you want love, you've got to give a little
If you want faith, you just believe a little
If you want peace, turn your cheek a little

Oh, you've got to give...you've got to give...

You've got to give to live

Each man's a country in his own right
Oh, everybody needs a friend...
One friend, one God, one country
No man need defend, yeah

I believe in fate and destination
But so much of that lies in our own hands
If you know what you want,  

Just go on out and get it!!!

Oh baby, baby
Just don't give up, no, no
Don't give up, yeah, yeah

If you want love, you've got to give a little  
If you want faith, you just believe a little  
If you want peace, turn your cheek a little

Oh, if you want love, you've got to give
(If you want love) oh, give to live
(If you want love) you've got to give
You've got to give, you've got to give to live

If you want love, you've got to give a little
If you want faith, you just believe a little
If you want peace, turn your cheek a little

Oh, you've got to give... you've got to give... 

You've got to give to live

Oh baby, baby
Just don't give up, no, no
Don't give up, yeah, yeah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYFBO3WOFto