On this fine January day in Western Oregon, I woke to the sun shining through my window. An anomaly in and of it's self.

What woke me from my slumber, however, was not the unfamiliar light, it was a dream. A dream about a man I made a New Year's resolution to move past. Not forget, surely there must be something to be learned from this crazy roller-coaster I have been on with him for the past nine months. Just move past. 

I have been doing rather good at accomplishing this goal, too. In fact, the day of the night I made this resolution, I was confronted by a gal whom my beloved had had an affair with. I had known of this tete-a-tete, prior, and had even come to terms with it. Meeting her in person, however, left me so perplexed, I was finding it very hard to concentrate on the mundane tasks of my day. I went home that night with a stranger in an attempt to redact all things "Beloved" and awoke on New Years Day terribly exhausted from all the emotional turmoil of the past nine months, spiritually stunned and absolutely determined to move past this man.

I saw him the day after New Year's. Now, bear in mind, I have made several very feeble attempts at walking away, before, but on the day, I felt different. The times before had me intellectually moving away, but at the same time being spiritually drawn to him, as I have been from the moment we met. On this day, however, the strength of my soul had almost completely banished him from my heart. It wasn't quite so difficult to force myself to pull away, to be indifferent to him. 

So I'm not so sure if it was actually seeing this train-wreck of a woman he had spent so many days cheating on the mother of his child with or magic or my own incredible constitution that allowed me respite from my obsession, but I am, and while it is taking it's spiritual toll on me, I can actually see the finish line for the first time on this journey, and this morning offered me an even brighter glimpse, as this was my dream:

Said Beloved and I are travelling along a road. We are in the back of a pick-up truck with a friend of his and many of the friend's belongings. We are helping the friend move. Along this road, as the three of us are sitting on the tailgate, our legs hanging off the back of the truck, we hit a very large speed bump. "Hold on, boys!" I exclaimed. If I remember correctly, I said this three times, as we encountered this bump three times, as well. When we arrive at our destination, Beloved takes a seat on the living room floor in front of a console tv. He is surrounded by approximately four or five young boys, all between the ages of four and eight. They are hanging on him and all are laughing jovially. As I woke, the vision of my darling beloved remained in my head. I could see him clearly, as I can now, remembering this dream quite vividly. I could see his green eyes, bright and full of life, hiding the wicked secrets of his past. I could see his somewhat crooked smile, a part time mask, part time tool of charm, used to get exactly what he wants. For a moment in time, there was a joy about him one rarely sees. It was lovely, but this was MY dream and here's the incredible interpretation...

THE MAN IN MY DREAM:

A man you know in real life may represent that actual person or the type of role he plays in your life (supervisor, father, friend, doctor, business person, etc.).

MY "BELOVED":

Good will, care, compassion, empathy, respect, adoration. God or spirituality. Attachment or wanting. Idolizing or objectifying. Consider the context in the dream.

THE MOVE:

Moving from one home to another can represent a change or transition in your life, or a fresh start or new beginning.

THE ROAD:

A road or highway can represent: A way to get from one place to another, either literally or symbolically, as in series of events, or one action leading to certain results Your life path or life journey, or a portion of it—past, present, or future

THE SPEED BUMP:

To see or go over a speed bump in your dream indicates that you need to slow down. You may be moving too fast in some relationship or some aspect of your waking life. Alternatively, speed bumps represent minor obstacles you are facing in your life.

THE FRIEND:

The actual person, or the type of role that person plays in your life: support, inspiration, humor or entertainment, or even betrayal, disrespect, etc.
THE BOYS:

General young male characteristics such as curiosity, protectiveness, strength, or assertiveness or aggression

THE NUMBERS 8 & 4:

Eight: A number of spiritual perfection, also meaning "perfect in form" or "perfectly complete."

Four: Order, organization in your life—perhaps you have it, or you could use more of it. Balanced, even, symmetrical.

THE THREE OF US SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND THE BOYS CLINGING TO "BELOVED":

Something that is next to something else could represent: A feeling that the two belong together, are involved with each other somehow, or have something in common Objects that are close together spatially. Events that are close to each other in time. People that are emotionally close to each other. Companionship or a desire for companionship.

Discuss amongst yourselves...

-Deannalynn Arzola