My Beloved,

I feel so compelled to tell you why I had to disembody myself from your space. From all the research I have done recently, to get to the bottom of you, I understand it really wouldn't matter to you anyway, but, as I am not you, I am me, and you are well aware of that which I am capable of, my heart aches for you and how I would assume one would feel reconciling the actions I have had to take to protect myself. If it were me, I would be perplexed. I would want an explanation. The fact that I am still racked with ambivalence over taking away that piece of me I gave to you shakes me to my very core. Even knowing almost empirically that you are not capable of the emotion necessary to feel the way I would or did when you took away the pieces of you that I had, still...ambivalent.
I miss you. I love you. I don't ever want you to experience pain from my own causation. It is my understanding that you cannot feel that kind of pain. But I see you. I can still see you the way I have always seen you and today it seems to me that, on some level, you are hurt by my actions. Please understand, my love, that it is because I love you that I cannot allow you to dishonor a piece of me that came from a place so deep inside of me. I wish I were wrong. I wish I could know that it is sadness you feel and not anger, but as you are such a master of manipulation, what I perceive to be pain in your eyes could very possibly be just another ploy to toy with and control my emotions.
It has taken me allot of understanding to reconcile how you could do the things you do. The results of that research have left me sick. For someone like me to fall in love with someone like you seems to me to be such a waste of my blood. As hard as it is for you to understand and feel the depth of my commitment for you, it appears to be equally as hard for you to accept that commitment. That is the greatest shame I have ever witnessed. I am still trying to figure out why you walked into my life. I have always believed you need my love. I guess I still do. What I cannot wrap my head around is that no matter how hard you try to accept that love, you are biologically incapable of doing so. So why? Why did all of the signs point directly towards you. Why was it love at first sight for me? Why did I love you from the very beginning, not knowing your genetic incapacity to feel all that incredible emotion. I am not a victim of your sociopathy in the respect that I chose you, not the other way around. Everything inside of me says that if you could love me, you would and while I absolutely appreciate that you are far more immune to pain than I am, I still feel like I can see pain in your eyes. None of this makes sense to me. It never has. I only know that when you told me you felt we should give it a shot, I was the happiest girl on earth. I find it very difficult to believe that you are incapable of the emotion I recognized in your words. I know at the very depth of my soul that you would never hurt me for the joy of it. I guess I have truly always known that if you could love me the way you know I should be loved, you would. It is that little piece of you that makes it so hard for me to accept your incapability. 
I know this is not your fault. I realize you did not target me. These realizations only serve to prevent me from achieving the necessary emotion required to let you go, completely. So, inevitably, you should know that I had to take me back. It will always be hard for me to see you and know what I know and attempt to process that information on an interaction by interaction basis. The information is simply too hard for me to digest at present. To know you is to not love you, or so should be the way the saying goes. When I didn't know you, I loved you more freely. I know it's weird the way we have almost continually worked backwards from the result to the initiation, and that has oft made for discomfort and a lack of communication. It's just the way it happened. I saw something in you from the first day and I have been trying to reconcile those emotions ever since.
I always tell my friends, "Don't be scared of pain you think you MAY feel. Take the risk. It's worth it." But I am finding it harder and harder to say this because not all pain is worth the risk. This pain is way too much for me to bear. I hurt every minute of every day. I am not a believer in regret. I believe everything happens for a reason. I am still trying to understand what the reason is for this experience, this outcome. I began with the thought that as long as you were aware that you were loved by someone like me, someone who was willing to go every extra mile necessary to understand you, accept you, that THAT was the reason and that was ok with me, but if you can't wrap your head around an emotion like that, then what in the hell is the reason for this. 
It seems to me, neither one of us is very happy at the moment. I don't know what to say anymore, with the exception that for some reason I fell in love with you, and I'm not sure that's ever gonna change and that I would give you that love freely if I knew you could feel it, understand it or accept it. I never want to see you hurt, if, indeed, that is something you are capable of, and I'm sorry that this is what we have from all we could have had.
-DeAnna