I was thinking about this phrase tonight because I was thinking about how I am on a crooked dance floor, with a partner who is sometimes so distant, I am lost, and the band is playing some crazy Pink Floyd joint and the acid is just starting to kick in. All are, of course, euphemisms for what is really going on, but nevertheless, this is how I feel. So I thought, well hell, maybe I'm not ready to move over to a steady dance floor with my crazy dance partner, dancing to, yes, still Pink Floyd, but maybe not trippin' so much. In fact, just the other day, my best friend asked me what I would do when I got what I asked for. This is a question I have asked of myself recently, and I say recently because the honest to god truth is that every time I tried to wrap my head around it, I lost a little bit more of what was left of my own sanity. Okay, that's not really true, because if it were, I would have stayed off that dance floor instead of taking my partner up on his offer to dance, hand extended, and all. I never say "no", though. I take his fucking hand and let him lead me into the second circle of hell every single time! Nevertheless, I digress...
I guess I figured, this evening, that when I am actually able to dance on a stable dance floor and listen to his music, sans the acid (or whatever vice we choose to feel normal), he will appear and lead the way, which is a good thing, unless of course that's just the usual fear talking, because I often wonder if and always pray I am tough enough to handle this darkness. I know I've been preparing my entire life for the whole "I'm dark, I'm a Scorpio, I'm sensitive and I get chastised for it so I'm just gonna retreat into myself and make you try for ten fucking years to break these walls down..." thing. Just go ahead and exponentialize that crazy intensity by about a trillion, and, yeah, that's who I'm dancing with...
Time has always been a theme. It appears to be irrelevant to the outcome. I mean that it seems very natural for me to not notice how much time has gone by (how long have we been dancing, again?), even when I'm out there alone on the dance floor for a week, a month, five months. And time, well, it's kind of an eternity thing. I've done the tarot readings, I've listened to my spiritual advisors, I've always known it, intuitively. I even had a therapist tell me that I probably have known him in all of my lives, and that I, we better get it right this time or history will repeat itself, and fuck that...So, yeah, I reckon when this pupil is ready, the master will appear.
Oh, and allow me to clear up a couple things right quick. This quote, it isn't Confucius, nor is it Buddha. The quote comes from a Theosophical organization's publication called The Herald of the Star. What is inherently cool about this (and other) Theosophical societies is two things; number one, Theosophy is a melding of Eastern religious tradition with Western esoteric practice, and two, one of my favorite authors actually moved to a commune in which this society existed, and this would be Nathaniel Hawthorne. My favorite poet, Emily Dickinson, Louisa Mae Alcott and Herman Melville were practitioners as well. So the quote, "When the pupil is ready, the master will appear", is not some ancient proverb. It's a nineteenth century quote from a bunch of mystically inclined Christians.
So, there ya go...
-Deannalynn Arzola
Time has always been a theme. It appears to be irrelevant to the outcome. I mean that it seems very natural for me to not notice how much time has gone by (how long have we been dancing, again?), even when I'm out there alone on the dance floor for a week, a month, five months. And time, well, it's kind of an eternity thing. I've done the tarot readings, I've listened to my spiritual advisors, I've always known it, intuitively. I even had a therapist tell me that I probably have known him in all of my lives, and that I, we better get it right this time or history will repeat itself, and fuck that...So, yeah, I reckon when this pupil is ready, the master will appear.
Oh, and allow me to clear up a couple things right quick. This quote, it isn't Confucius, nor is it Buddha. The quote comes from a Theosophical organization's publication called The Herald of the Star. What is inherently cool about this (and other) Theosophical societies is two things; number one, Theosophy is a melding of Eastern religious tradition with Western esoteric practice, and two, one of my favorite authors actually moved to a commune in which this society existed, and this would be Nathaniel Hawthorne. My favorite poet, Emily Dickinson, Louisa Mae Alcott and Herman Melville were practitioners as well. So the quote, "When the pupil is ready, the master will appear", is not some ancient proverb. It's a nineteenth century quote from a bunch of mystically inclined Christians.
So, there ya go...
-Deannalynn Arzola
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